just a sideblog for my feelings
today before i came home i went to my grandma’s house and we were just kinda talking on the porch and the topic of love came up and my grandma was like “don’t worry, you’ll fall in love one day sweetie. whether you’re straight or gay or whatever, you’ll find someone, i promise you” and i tried so hard not to cry ughughugh
i don’t want to call you tonight i already called you in the woods but i figured you were busy and i’m too stupid to realize that you’re probably sleeping
and secondly i know exactly how that skype call is going to go. you’re going to ask whats up and i’ll tell you everything that’s wrong and you’ll bring up that one thing that really pisses me off and makes me sad and i’ll probably end up crying and then you’ll go on and say that everything’s alright and that you’re here for me and i’ll ask you to complain about your problems later in the night and you’ll start crying
it will just be one big crying fest like it always is
I JUST WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE OVER SKYPE OR ON THE PHONE I WANT TO HEAR SOMEONE’S VOICE AND JUST TALK AND TALK
SCREAMS
i always turn to calling tyler to cry about shit because he’s the only one who will pick up and i fucking hate taht i rely on him so much
I’m sorry…I never meant to hurt you. I know I stole you away from him because I was jealous and I wanted you to myself. Fuck, I even had you at one point but I just let us get distant and I have a huge problem with that. No matter who I’m with eventually I’ll find some way to separate us or put distance between us. I even tried to win back your heart two more times, but I always messed it up and I put you in a horrible position and I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way and disappoint you. I have no idea where you are now, but I hope to god you’re doing okay.
oh man am i sad
